Grief Counseling

     Last night Joel and I attended our first grief counseling meeting, along with my mom, for people who have lost a child. I went back and forth about going all day long, and almost told my mom that I wasn't going to go after all. But I made it. It was very hard. I don't like going to things that I'm not sure what to expect. I was scared. It's much easier to share what we are going through while sitting at a computer alone vs. in person. When I'm putting my thoughts and emotions into these posts, you're not seeing what I'm going through, how I cry the entire time I'm typing. Being with a group of people I don't know at all, and possibly sharing our story made me very nervous.

     When we got there, I noticed just about everyone was older. Although everyone has lost a child, I didn't know if anyone there would relate to Joel and I in the sense that we lost our infant. Some people think that losing a baby is somehow easier than losing a child at an older age. That they got to know their child and really experience them, and then had to say goodbye. That because miscarriage and stillbirth is common, it's somehow easier. It's not. Anyone who has experienced this loss understands that that's not the case.

     Just before the meeting started, a couple about Joel and I's age walked in. They were one of the first few to speak once we got started. They lost their baby girl at 24wks. As much as it's truly sucks going through this new life we are living, meeting others who are also on the same journey as us, and having them to talk to about things is helps. We aren't alone. They asked us questions about our daughter, and we talked about theirs. We want to talk about our babies, but most people don't know how to, or what is appropriate. They don't want to hurt our feelings by bringing up our loss. But we want to talk about Eloise. The dreams we had for her. The fun things we had already planned to do with her.

     So although it may be hard for us right now, know it's okay to ask about Eloise. We love hearing her name. We love that she is being remembered. We love that she is a part of our family. Forever.