Little Moments

This past week I have had several moments where the "what if"are all I can think about. These happen often, but this week has been especially tough.

This week was the first time Joel was traveling for work since Eloise was born. When we lived in Vegas, he traveled all the time. It sucked, but I got used to it. Once we found out about our little peanut I was so happy he wasn't in a job with a lot of travel. It would be hard on us, but so much harder on him to miss out on those moments with Ellie. With him gone for 3 days this week, all I could think about was what those 3 days would have looked like. Just Me, Ellie, and two crazy puppies. Would I be stressed out and crying for Joel to be coming home? Would my mom be over helping me out (I bet yes)? Would anything actually get done around the house (I bet no, because honestly who would chose cleaning over sweet baby snuggles?!)? The entire time he was gone, every little thing I did, all I could think about was how this would look if Eloise were here.

Along with Joel being gone this week, both girls were sick. As much as I hate seeing them sick, I sure love those snuggles. And while snuggling and watching The Magic School Bus (YES THIS IS ON NETFLIX!!!!!!!), all I could think about was what sick days with Eloise would look like. Those sweet snuggles, the boogers, the crying. I want it all. So. Bad. I could see the puppies worrying about her. I could see Kayleigh wanting to help take care of her and making sure she got lots of check ups. I wish I could see them with her.

I've also had three puppies running around every Friday and today I couldn't stop thinking about what a Friday with 3 puppies and a newborn would be like. They are all so crazy when they get together and I absolutely love the chaos. They eventually settle down, but I so badly want know what our days would look like with her added into the craziness.

I also noticed that we have put 3800+ miles on the mini van already. We got it a month before Ellie was born, so there have been roughly 3000 miles of driving without her. 3000 miles of places she should have been to. 3000 miles of singing in the car that should have been to her. 3000 miles that she should have been in her car seat while her puppy siblings gave her kisses and watched out the windows to make sure no "bad guys" got us.

Everything we do, everywhere we go, these thoughts always flood my mind. There are so many memories that I want her to be apart of. So many important moments to come that I want her to be apart of. Friends getting married, birthday parties, holidays, photo sessions, vacations to Disney and Vegas, everything.